My BIG Blog

So this is the big one!!! I've wanted to write this for a week and just now sat down to do it. I guess in acutuality I've wanted to be able to write this story my entire life!!

All of my siblings are very important to me so Mandy, I hope you don't feel left out... I'll blog about you one of these days! Joe, I know you'll never read this because of your hate for the internet but just incase Dad prints it, don't feel left out either... you'll make it into my not-so-famous blog too!!

It was never a secret that as a small child I was closest to Carrie. We are very close in age and are both somewhat girly. When we played house as little girls Carrie and I got stuck in the tree house cooking supper and tending to the babies! Mandy and Joe did the hunting and running around on bikes and whatever else tomboys did while playing. We played with Barbie dolls while Mandy and Joe played He-man, hunted, or played outside. Carrie and I shared a room and that often meant crawling into bed with one another at some time in the night.

Of course, as we all grew older, our relationships changed and I consider myself just as close to each of my siblings now. There's something about a sibling that just isn't the same as anything in this world. You love them so much and you want everything good for them, just like a best friend, but that life long history isn't usually there with a friend. The good times, the bad times, the in between times; you have went through every single bit of it together.

I was so honored in 2003 to stand up with her while she married Ben. She and Ben were so truly in love I don't think there could have been a person in the Church that didn't feel blessed to be included! They are so loving, and fun, and such great people. They both have strong beliefs and are so trustworthy and honest. They both have that rare ability to mix into every kind of crowd!! They can mingle and have drinks with the CEO of the Company or they can cut a rug at the state line with farmers and rednecks. Everyone LOVES their company no matter what crowd or what environment. Some of the best laughs I've ever had have been with Carrie, or Ben, or both!!

After several years of marriage they decided to add to their family!! Our families and community were so excited for them! God had different plans (although we didn't realize it then, he had BETTER plans)!! No luck left them at the Dr.'s office eventually trying fertility treatments. No luck with fertility treatments sent them seeking adoption.

There is just something that rips your heart out when you so readily have an ability that someone you love so much will do anything for. I felt TONS of guilt over the years because I had so many children with little effort but my sister had given it everything she had and was still empty handed. I don't think we realize sometimes that as 5 year olds we sort of plan out our whole lives and we believe that most parts of that plan will come true. All sisters talk about what they are going to be when they grow up- a housewife or a doctor or something glamourous. All sisters talk about their wedding day- that one and only great day when you are going to be the princess!! All sisters talk about their babies- they name them and plan out the birth order!! We were no exception!! I remember laying in bed at night discussing and giggling about these very things with my sisters!!

When the adoption process started I don't think any of us (except maybe Carrie and Ben) realized what a long, stressful process it is! The excitement of matches... the disappointment of those matches falling apart. It just almost seemed like losing children rather than adopting them for a while. I cannot tell you how many times we all sat on Sherlene's patio (Ben's mom and my great friend) bawling, feeling like our whole world had just caved. Like every wish and every prayer had just been thrown back in our faces.

Finally the match came and her name was to be Isabella!! Unvelievably, a week before Izzy was to be born, Carrie and Ben had a positive pregnancy test!! Izzy was already their daughter in their hearts and I don't believe there was ever a thought in their minds to stop the adoption. And thank God for that!! She is the most BEAUTIFUL, SWEET, brown eyed baby girl!!! She smiles and talks and she waves her hands in the air curling her tiny fingers in circles!! WOW... it really happened, our prayers and wishes had finally been answered!! Maybe not: there were problems (as is typical in adoption) and for a few days there was a possibility that the adoption may not happen. I'm sure you can imagine the heartache we all felt but also knowing Carrie was carrying a baby and the stress might be too much weighed heavy on everyone. I will NEVER forget seeing that on Ben's face in the hospital. It was just more than any couple should ever have to go through. To see a man who loves his wife so much worry about his baby, his wife, and his other baby that few people know about.... it still hurts my heart!! I am a praying person! I pray several times a day. I believe in carrying on long conversations with the Heavenly Father!! Let me tell you... those days are the only days in my life I have ran into my house sobbing, dropped to my knees and prayed to my God!! I begged and pleaded, I would do ANYTHING!!! I know I wasn't the only one and that is obvious because our prayers were answered! Carrie and Ben were able to come home and finalize the adoption!! And in answer to prayers, again last week Carrie gave birth to a BEAUTIFUL baby boy named Grady Douglas who looks just like his Daddy and Uncle Doug!! He is soft and cuddly and perfect in every way! I have to tell you- I'm pretty sure Uncle Doug knew the plan all along and I'm certain he had a hand in the wonderful turnout!!!

They are both beautiful and wonderful and a true gift from God! They are truly amazing and I know they will continue to amaze us as they grow because they have awesome parents who love them with every bit of love there is to share!

Congratulations Carrie and Ben, I know no couple who deserved this as much as the two of you!!

I love all four of you more than you'll ever know!!!

Oh, and for those of you who don't personally know us.... Izzy was 7 months old when Grady was born..... please pray for my sister and Ben!! :)